Cow born with two faces : A brief thesis

I spend about 2 minutes of my day paying attention to actual, real news. Crime, politics, traffic - doesn't get my attention.

Necessary, but boring. The other however many hours that I'm keeping up with whats going on, is spent on the juicy stuff. You may have seen the whale story that I wrote 3 days ago. That stuff. Odd news. It's a drug and it's never ending. Twitter feeds you 15 minutes of junk then bang, in your face, there's a story about the man that just won the world record for stuffing the most nails up his nose in history. Hooked. How many nails? Was he from Taiwan? What was it like that beginning, when he could only stick significantly less nails up his nose? Why?! I think its pretty evident why anyone would be a bit more focused on that sector of the news.

Really quick thought on the news as a whole, why did the news start? There used to not be news. Now there is. Did the majority of people get together at one point and agree that it made sense to make sure everyone knows whats going on with everyone else at all times? When I think back and consider what the world needed back in 1400(when "News" was created) I have a few other things in mind. I know for a fact the plague was happening. Fact check me on that though. Whenever you look up the plague on wikipedia, theres always those guys in trench coats with beak masks trying to not get plagued. Shouldn't the only priority be developing better mask technology so that 50% of Europe doesn't croak? Simpletons.

Anyways, I saw this story on a cow recently being born with two faces. Same head/Brain but was sporting akimbo faces. Incredible. The wonders of the world. The great pyramids, Machu picchu, Transformers movies, and cows with two faces. I would LOVE having two faces. The utility is limitless. NBA point guard is a given. Best vision in the league. Texting and driving would be the easiest thing on the planet. The thought of having tandem foreheads makes me consider the struggles of people with deformities.

I imagine a Siamese twin, Tiny Tim, or someone missing a digit. People typically feel bad for others who struggle with a deformity or disability. Realistically, those people should feel bad for the non-handicaps. Handicap'd persons have distinct features, people will most likely remember you. If you're not an asshole, people will most likely appreciate your company. Usually, those people are the happiest people around for whatever reason. I also think people subconsciously respect you. Like these people have been through the ringer and are still kicking. Tip of the cap, mate.

On the flip side, you're non-memorable. Just a guy. The Non-Handicaps are expected to grind it out in society with the rest of the public. Most of those people are miserable. Lots of Khakis and small talk with that group. Way worse.

I could continue this blog and finish my thoughts but I feel like I'm getting close to the line so I'm going to end it here and regroup.

  • - TugBoat